Bennu Station, 053:7 - Cratered Thinking
The present does not exist. It hasn't for weeks. I have been captured by the video and pictures of Jannshek before his accident. And it's not even the accident that bothers me. It's his recovery and the role I played in it. Ever since the two Jannsheks were let go, they've been finding temporary employment around the station.
Jannshek the First was working in the so called Heavy Duty Mechanics bay, replacing ship parts and providing maintenance to critical systems on those that had made it to the repair bay. He was busy replacing one of the power cells on a Dast Cargo, and the cell discharged, arcing right across his left arm.
On the majority of the population, if one had to sustain injury, this would be the preferred arm; unfortunately, Jannshek is left handed. The arc essentially turned his forearm to charcoal. The skin was completely gone, black and crisp where it met the undamaged tissue. Even the bone was barely maintaining structure after the incident, and his fingers were completely gone. By all accounts it was traumatic, but the santekit on site had him free of pain in under a minute.
The cause of the incident is currently under investigation with our office, and Shah is performing the Root Cause Analysis. I offered, but he could tell how the whole thing affected me, especially after the treatment I recommended to Jannshek failed. Back in the Core, sabza treatment is common. Limb loss is rare, but the procedure is nearly universal and I've never heard of a failure. I know we don't have a Core doctor on station, but they are all "Core certified". It should count for something. I've seen others in the Core grow new fingers, even a new leg. All biological, all indistinguishable from the ones they were born with. Jannshek said sabza was too expensive back home, so he was only familiar with stock part replacement and that's what he was going to go with.
I talked him out of it. Do you really want someone else's arm fused to you, even if you can control it perfectly? It'll never be yours, I said. Seams are always visible and the texture and coloring are always off. It'll never be you. Jannshek listened to me. I would give anything to go back and keep my mouth shut. To let him have a stock arm, rather than the robotic limb that he has now. And the worst part is: he is okay with it! It doesn't seem to bother him. He jokes about it, holds it for pictures with the service cover pulled back to expose the electronics. Never once has he expressed regret about taking my advice, even though if he hadn't, the failed sabza treatment wouldn't have made fusing the biological replacement forever impossible on that limb.
I can't focus on anything but his arm when I see Jannshek now, and I don't know how he can just go about his day. Even though he is functionally equivalent to before the accident, I can't do anything but wallow in the unmalleable past and his cosmetic differences.